His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
