I wish I only lived at night.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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