We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
