The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
