apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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