yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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