Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
We're like a lot better than the average bears
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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