I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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