May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
