Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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