last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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