i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
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