I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
