I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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