so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
