where does the pee come out of this thing
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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