dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
