i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
This is my gift to your gina
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
last night I used snow as a chaser
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
