your thong is hanging out like whoa
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
