Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
