So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize