either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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