he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
