i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
