we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
you never un-have a 4some
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
