guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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