I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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