Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
