I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
