Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
