I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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