Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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