what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
