so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize