there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
A+ Viking dick
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
