I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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