The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My penis needs a shock collar
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
