im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
