Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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