she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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