oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
