Just cropdusted the office
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize