dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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