your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
