k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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