I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
