you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
