hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
