Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
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