How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
