I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize