If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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