Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
