Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
