chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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