i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
