My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
