So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
