Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
