But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
