I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
