My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
