just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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