The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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