You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize